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One of the fun things about writing Courtship in Crisis is that I have been able to interview wonderful single men and women around the world.I can tell you there are a ton of of great ones left. Relationships require a lot of courage, particularly for men who have to take the initial risks.Yet we do it because it has the possibility of leading us into a loving relationship (and most of us want that more than anything).When it comes to boosting your dating confidence, there are a few tricks you can use with your mind and body to help you keep your mind calm and your heart strong.Which begs the question: how do you become confident enough to ask a girl out?I can tell you where confidence doesn’t come from: it doesn’t come from giving trophies to losers.As a result, they lose out on the reciprocity effect.” People with low self-esteem also tend to view other people through the same dark lens they use on themselves, focusing on the negatives of whomever they’re with.
Cut your losses the minute you know she's not "the one" (don't worry, she's out there). If she doesn't call you back, she's not interested—it's really that simple.By being honest about who you are—to yourself and the world—you'll exude an inner confidence that will effortlessly draw women to you like never before. THE SHY GUY You're the guy who just wants a steady girlfriend—so much so that you may drive a girl away with your tendency to smother early on, or end up missing out on fun with the guys once you've got her. Be honest with yourself about your goals for long-term monogamy; despite what your buddies may say, there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want. That means no more taking a girl to an event such as a wedding just so you don't have to go alone—even though you have no interest in pursuing anything more with her.If you do so, you just may lose an opportunity to meet your next girlfriend.Once the adrenaline is flowing, you have no choice but to wait until your body decides it’s safe to calm down, which might be two hours after your date!So, if you find your heart racing, your palms sweating, and your voice shaking, know that your nervous system may take some time to decide to calm down. The most effective strategy is to get your nervous system on board.
THE BOTTOM LINE: When it comes to dating, always resist the temptation to change.